February

February 1

Seeing you makes me dissolve

Because I am ashamed that you

Are loved by someone like me

Sink to save you the trouble

Of dreaming about a world

Filled with untruth

I will fight the sun

To stop another day from starting

Where we're apart

If we're lucky

I will burn

And you will move on

February 2

I will die a slow death

Inhaling the ashes of your asbence

Coincidental fire singes my eyelids

Digging a shallow grave

Trying to bury my sodden love

I fill my lungs with dirt

February 3

Drunkenly pressed against him

Platonic allegations of saliva

He consents to be hanged by guilt

Still better than seeing you weep

February 4

I never understood analogies about smoking

Half a pack later I still don't

It extrapolates my eyes to match yours

Blackening one thing while another remains intent

Toss your lungs into the avalanche

And let it sweep you to death

February 5

I wonder if people notice

The light in my eyes,

Momentary mental gasp,

When I hear your name

Not even trying to hide it

Nobody asked me but I

Answered the question anyway

Just another dumb excuse

For me to say your name

If I'm breathing, I might as well feel it

February 6

Climbing a brief staircase to the sun

Peer down at everyone, though you can't breathe

It sounds dumb but I'm looking for you

Jump!

Fall!

I missed you

February 7

An infinity without significance

Count the ridges in your teeth

Glancing eyes that claim to know

Rivulets of anxiety

I made you laugh today

It gave a momentary reprieve

But moments pass faster than we do

February 8

A quiet drag from a misanthropic cigarette

We contemplate talking, I hand you a gun

Eyes that beg for satisfaction

For some reason, you toss it to be swallowed by the ocean

Let me get what I want

I don't deserve to suffer anymore

Despite the shit my heart craves,

You show Love

Following in His footsteps with peace

Instead of ending me, you try to help me begin

February 9

I want to be your reprieve

While words and hatred whip about us

A hurricane of everything we find sad or unfortunate

Minuscule scrapes on every inch of skin

Give me the pain you feel

The world needs people like you to give your love freely

Let your love resonate and be felt everywhere

I can focus on the hurt

And take care of it all

 

February 10

Can we be pessimistic lovers?

Wholeheartedly offer ourselves to hell

Upset the status quo if only for a second

Permeating realism with a knowing smile

February 11

If we are called

To create art

Is it cardinal

To create only

Love

?

February 12

Crooked around your neck

An undefined, relaxed crease

Our boundaries dance and waver

Water spilling out from blissful ignorance

A glowing MacBook warms your knees

Being near you warms all of me

Company is why we defend against sleep

It wouldn't be so bad if we did though

Each shared breath vanquishes conversation

With a plume of Janus' oxygen

Eyes half closed, heart fully open

February 13

I know I will never be loved

The way a flower loves dirt

Vibrant color exploring pity

Trembling filth beneath a rigid umbrella

We pour the soil down our throats

It's not a cry for help or attention

It's merely a blanket we share

Wooly, it itches my neck

February 14

Waves vibrate with scattered friction

Glassy rhythms climb a stairway away from here

A twang breaks the air,

Separating the mind from what it truly wants

Ah, I see.

This is an ode to overthinking things.

If we come from dust, then how come I'm building a tower of sand?

You stop breathing as the tower fades

With the pressure

Of existing another day

I want to leave more than I want you

You already left

Fall face first into a piano chord

The twang steps back and varies itself

In the fashion of a broken kaleidoscope

I've convinced myself that not sleeping will make you come back

But it's 2 AM and my eyes are heavy

A growl from beneath the staircase

Reveals itself to only be mangled music

It plugs itself in and yells at me for being so vain

The attic gets hot but only in my mind

I lost the air conditioner

I lay on my back and carve wistfulness into the roof

Five small pieces of wood fall onto me

And it makes

Me think of you

February 15

Why do vibrations mean more to me

Than most people?

The best bizarre emotional velcro

Tangled up in aural vines

I am content to lie here

February 16

Grasping the concept of your heart's outline

Is like seeing a leaf fall for the first time

Pick it up and cradle its infant veins,

Study every galaxy spread out over it

No one should ever lose appreciation

Of the Little Things

February 17

Flick the switch to shutter your eyelids

A mistaken identity crafted in secret

Maybe I shouldn't try to cram

Five years of emotions

Into one day

February 18

I can't help but see

What I wanted us to be

Crowded in the living room

Building false narratives

Every action is derivative

Reverse my heart into bloom

February 19 

Is it even worth making art

If everything you've wanted to say

Has already been said better?

Every person is unique

That doesn't make all art good

Even if it isn't inherently bad,

Something else captures it better

February 20

Give yourself without abandon

But don't abandon yourself

There isn't much you need

People, water, a pulsing consciousness

Embrace the imperative

Molecules don't matter;

You do

Don't be frightened of dreams

They're merely the fingerprints of stars

Inhale, the passing of years in a day

Exhale, receive heaven with gladness

Blink, sleep, rest

February 21

You wrap yourself in an unashamed blanket

Curled up in the floor's cocoon

Wings haven't come, probably won't

Don't worry

It's better on the ground anyways

February 22

Your breath harmonizes with the gasping wind

Oh, to be

                    A voice in your choir.

Nature plays like a piano made of quicksand

Oh, to be

                    A note in your score.

The hushed gasp of a blameless timbre

Oh, to be

                    A tone in your voice.

February 23

Acorn drums shatter in your ears

Someone is playing a celery bassline

Notes made of açai, lemony glow

Rest on your bed of pure thyme

And let cheddar songs into you

Scone-shaped soul

February 24

A bit of irony

To comprehend the word "incomprehensible"

We are presumptuous enough

To pretend to comprehend it

Doesn't mean we can justify

The incomprehensible

February 25

I'm with you in painless anonymity

Caressing the gaping face of solitude

Conjoined in heathen breathlessness

Urgently and vibrantly punctuate

Your words with headiness

Inhale the autumnal gas

And now I know how to be separate

Fleshy, nervous connection

A whisper saying,

"Don't look at her,

Lust will stamp your eyes into paste"

Prior disconnect prevents my ears

I am merely captivated by the distance

That I have carved, unwilling and broken

I'm with you where we never were

February 26

Lost in useless territory, scribbling words of

  disgust up and down my corpse when from

  a hole in my ambiguity crawls a horrible

  multifaceted man named Truth.

He looks like a jerk and talks with unprovoked

  lust for the receptive tongue of youthful morals.

In a delightful act of vanity I sew my mouth

  shut and demand that my own devices be left to me.

February 27

Humanize something free of error

Here I am anyways, the bearer

Of bad news.

The deliverer of a tremendous message

Instead acting as a somber presage

Of what I can't wait to lose

I suppose if I look on the bright side

You have managed to provdie

Some sort of muse

But that sounds dumb

February 28

Rip into some music

Stuff it into your ears

Placate it 'til it remains

Now bow down and pray

Stuff it into your ears

Clog them when you're empty

Now bow down and pray

Hope that someone hears you

Clog them when you're empty

Though it won't fill your heart

Hope that someone hears you

God knows you aren't listening